Why Don't You Hate Me?
by Dan-loves-Serena
Summary: My view of Gossip Girl's 6th season. ONLY DERENA. P.S. written for humphreys-are-for-vdws and other tumblr DSers I love.
1. Episode 1, part 1

- Double capuccino, please.  
Serena smiled back to a coffee shop barista, holding her mobile phone and looking on the screen almost every second. She was waiting for a message from her new summer friend Sheila, the girl from Austria, whom she met in June. Sheila was so good to Serena, she was kinder than Blair were someday.  
- Serena? Serena van der Woodsen?  
The blonde took her capuccino and slowly turned around, thinking that's just someone she met this summer - they could wait, right? - Yes, - she said while turning, but when she saw the real person she was looking on she stood and became frozen.  
It was Dan Humphrey. Not Daniel Randolph Humphrey, the author of "Inside". Dan Humphrey. Cut-haired strong guy with pure eyes. The one she fell in love with six years ago.  
- Hi, - Serena whispered, moving slowly and taking a seat on a chair.  
- How are you? - Dan asked. That moment she noticed he was suntanned and muscular and smiled for the first time. But, gosh. It hurted so badly to see him again...  
- I-I'm alright, - she nervously took a big sip of coffee from her cup. It was a dream, no? The most terrible nightmare.  
- Great, - he smiled, sitting near her. The athmosphere was so nervous. Well, Dan finally felt he's back from Toscana when he met someone he knew before.  
Serena really wanted to straight up some things between them. Was it too early or was it exactly the time?  
- And how are you? - she asked, trying to relax a bit.  
- Fine. I even missed Upper East Side, - he giggled.  
- Oh, that's... that's nice.  
The girl tried to smile. Sh*t, is that just possible to smile when you meet a guy you've been in love with for about six years, who has just came frome Toscana and told you the last time he didn't even want to know her when you were so madly in love with him? It seemed like she has just forgotten everything between them, and now he's back, and it felt like hell.  
It hurted her.  
So freaking much.  
Of course, Dan noticed her strange behaviour. - Hey, are you okay? - he asked carefully.  
- Can we just... talk somewhere in a private place? - Serena replied quietly, almost standing up. She couldn't help but her eyes became a bit red. She was sure she's not going to cry, but also the thing she had no doubt about was non-ability to deal with him away of her life, especially now, when he's back.  
- Yes, yes, sure.  
- But, just, tomorrow, ok? Or another day. I-I am late, - she said, leaving her coffee on the table and leaving him misunderstanding.  
She wasn't ready at all.

* * *

_One more whiskey bottle was empty._  
_One more piece in his heart was lost._  
_Dan knew he has hurt her too much to even call and apologize. He decided to come back to New York, just to be there for Serena if she'd like to._  
_But he wasn't sure what's moving him in this direction._  
_He felt so sorry._

* * *

_**A/N: Thanx for reading this! Please review to tell me is the work nice :)**_


	2. Episode 1, part 2

Serena was half-asleep when she heard the quick sound of the ICQ messenger. She moved lazily and took her laptop and froze when she saw the screen.  
"Humphrey: Tonight at 6 in Central park?"  
Oh. God.  
She was so scared that her nightmare came back. She had dreamt of him till August, then she had a wonderful month without pain and tears, and now it seemed all came back.  
"SvdW: Hey you, I'm sleeping!"  
The new text was recieved immideately.  
"Humphrey: C'mon, it's 1 pm."  
Serena laughed lightly.  
Feelings are a mess.  
"SvdW: No.  
SvdW: I mean, yes.  
Humphrey: I know ;)"  
She loved him, of course she did, such a silly thought about not loving him.  
Feelings are definetely a mess.

* * *

Dan laughed and turned off the computer. He was sure that Serena was going to reply snd agree. But anyway he felt so sorry, he really wanted to apologize, even if he realized how hard would it be. But he was sure she would understand.  
One day.  
Maybe not today, not tomorrow and even not a week after.  
Maybe after lots of years, when they will both be married and Serena would have a little daughter with angel face and gold curls and Dan would have a son who would play basketball with his father.  
One day, and she would just realize he was honest that time, when he told her how sorry he was for being rude.  
And they'd just meet suddenly somewhere in the supermarket and recognize each other. She'd ask him, how is he, and Dan would say his son was born few weeks ago and then he'd notice the little girl standing close to Serena. He'd say how pretty the girl is and then Serena would hug him tightly and she did before, and he'd realize she forgave him.  
But that's just a fantasy.  
Feelings are a mess.


	3. Episode 2

- I've been waiting for you for the last hour! Where have you been?  
Serena looked at Dan standing up and smiling and asked:  
- Am I really so late?  
- You are, but it's ok. I wanted to talk to you, actually.  
She was getting more and more nervous with every moment. She took a seat and saw a cup of coffee in Dan's hand.  
- That's for you. Aren't you cold?  
- No.  
Dan also sat on the bench. The autumn wind was blowing hard, and after two minutes of deadful silence she shivered nervously. It was not easy to sit here next to him, feel the way he's looking at her and stay calm.  
- I can see you're cold, - he took off his coat and put it on Serena's shoulders, holding her forearms to warm them up.  
- No.  
- What happened? I want to know, - Dan asked, moving closer.  
- Well, I've met a guy once and felt in love with him, then we had lots of breakups and once I realized I still love him and told him about that, but he chose my best friend over me. She broke up with him and then me and that guy had sex, after that he told me he didn't want to know me anymore, and now he wants to talk to me.  
She wiped a tear rolling down her cheek and took his coat, putting it on the bench and standing up.  
- Serena, please.  
- What? - she already took a step in direction of the taxi parking when felt a strong arm holding her waist.  
- Lets just forget about it for a moment. I'd like to...  
- Do you think it's really possible to forget?  
- But you were the one who wanted to talk privately!  
- I don't want anymore!

* * *

"- Hi, this is Serena van der Woodsen. Leave your message you-know-when! I'll call you back!  
- Serena, I just-, I just really don't know what to say. Um, you can come to my place whenever you like, when you'll be ready, I've got something for you. Please. I really need you. I'm sorry for that. For everything. Please."  
Serena put her face into her hands and fell on the floor.


	4. Episode 3, part 1

Serena stopped when heard glass breaking.  
She knew Dan has changed his adress and now he's living at the hotel while there's a rep in his hew flat. So she was going there and already stood by his door when heard clank.  
She slowly opened the door and was shocked by the terrible smell of sigarettes and alcohol, pieces of glass everywhere and opened windows, lots of papers on the floor and Dan breathing deeply near the window.  
- What's happening here? - she asked, taking a step towards Dan.  
- Nothing happening! - he suddenly shouted, taking off his T-shirt and drinking a glass of whiskey at one gulp. - Nothing! - Stop, please, - she took a bottle and put it on the table. - Why are you doing this?  
- Nothing happening!  
He looked like an angry animal, and suddenly Serena felt scared. He was so drunk that it was impossible to talk seriously now. But she remembered his promise to be there whenever she needed, so, maybe, she should have been there for him that moment? Maybe, he really needed her?  
- Nothing! I'm just fucked up with all my mistakes, all the wrong choices and everything running through my head! Why can't I be like all them? She breathed in and felt tears covering her eyes. His silhouette was blurred.  
- Why can't I get it right? You're the only person I care about and you're not ready just to listen to me, and that's-  
- Dan... - she whispered.  
- What? - he shouted.  
Serena took off her jacket and came closer to him.  
- What?... - he repeated quietly, staring into her eyes.  
She saw his eyes reddened a bit, and she felt more scared. Because of Dan nearly crying, and maybe she was the reason. Her eyes also filled with tears once more, but Serena didn't want him to notice this. He was kinda soul-naked behind her, he was weak, and she honestly wanted to calm him down.  
- Shhh... - she hugged his shoulders, making him put his head on her shoulder. She moved and sat on his bed, feeling his chin touching her neck, and Dan also moved with her.  
- What the hell am I doing wrong? - he whispered while Serena was wiping her tears and holding him like Dan was her only child.  
She loved him; of course, she did.

* * *

Dan woke up and realized his head is on Serena's tummy and he's holding her waist. He sat on the bed and saw her blonde hair and waves of her yellow dress on his pillows, and he couldn't resist and lightly kissed her neck, trying not to wake her up. His fingers played with her hair and she was smiling in her sleep. When he looked around he noticed glass and spots on the carpet. He remembered everything that happened yesterday and felt ashamed.  
She was there, with him.


	5. Episode 3, part 2

Serena woke up lately, as she thought, it was about 1 pm. When she opened her eyes, she looked around and remembered the atmosphere of yesterday evening. Broken bottles, smoked cigarettes, papers – it was not what she expected to see when she was coming to the hotel yesterday.

You're the only person I care about and you're not ready just to listen to me…

Serena shivered. She remembered his tears, his anger and pain, and she thought that she would protect him. Not him, his mind.

She stood up and heard the knocking. "Wait, is this Dan?" – she thought, opening the door. Dan was not in the room for sure, and the only person who could come there was him.

And yeah, she was right.

Daniel had two bags of food in his hands, and he put them on the floor and looked at Serena. "I knew you've already waken up," – he giggled, taking some groceries and removing them to the kitchen floor.

Serena did the same action – two bottles of milk, some flour, strawberry jam (her favorite) – and asked in surprise "Well, I have. And I honestly think it is too much for a hotel fridge, no?" – she laughed. – "What are you going to do?"

"At first, - Dan opened a pack of flour, - I'd like to ask if you want to stay here for a couple days. And help me with pancakes".

The girl laughed, taking a pan in her hands, - "Of course I'd like to stay. And help you".

"Thank you," – he responded, accidentally touching her hand with his, stained in flour.

"Hey you!" – she said jokingly, looking at her hand with white powder on it. – "Get it!"

She soiled his T-shirt all over with flour and egg's shell, he laughed at her, pouring milk on her dress. "You are crazy!" – "You too!" – they giggled.

She climbed on the high table, lightly slapping him, and Dan slung her over his shoulder and put her on the sofa, and suddenly fell down on her.

"Ouch!" – Serena chuckled, looking at Dan. – "It was fun. I can't wait for pancakes". He smiled, leaning his head closer to her lips, and the kitchen timer rang. "It's time," – she said, biting her lip. _Did he want to kiss her? Or what?_

2 am. She's laying on his bed and thinking about today's pancakes. Not actually about pancakes.

Dan was sleeping on the floor. Serena hung half of her body from the bed and whispered: "Humphrey, are you sleeping?" Respond was heard immediately: "No. Why don't you?" She didn't answer but said: "Climb up". He laid on the bed close to her and said: "You look confused".

Serena smiled sadly and said: "It's too dark to notice". He just asked: "What's happening?"

She breathed out and whispered, trying to hold the tears: "That is the problem. I don't know what is happening, Dan. What is happening between _us_".

He immediately got serious. "I thought that… Serena, what do you want to be between us?"

She turned her head, hiding her face in the pillow. She cried.

"Why do you think it's complicated, Serena? It's gonna be ok. We're gonna be okay. Can you hear me?" – Dan put his hand on her shoulder, moving away her hair. – "Serena, look at me. Look".

She wiped her tears and turned.

He smiled at her and touched her lips with his.


End file.
